


In a Galaxy Far Far away Lived an Idiot

by GivemeanID



Series: This is what happen when I'm being enabled [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: (a little), Adventuring, Angst, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Force sensitive! Tobirama, Gen, Jedi! Madara, Padawan! Izuna, Senju Tobirama Needs a Hug, Sith! Hashirama, Star Wars AU, idiots being idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21719668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GivemeanID/pseuds/GivemeanID
Summary: Madara was a Jedi knight, and a good one at that. His life would be perfect and perfectly predictable if it wasn't for two things.The first one was the fucking Sith who for an unknow reason thought they were friends.The second was his padawan who had a supernatural gift to jump headfirst into trouble.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama, Uchiha Izuna & Uchiha Madara
Series: This is what happen when I'm being enabled [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551997
Comments: 106
Kudos: 180





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The enabling for this one is half me, half Shiver_Mint ^^
> 
> It will be multichaptered because I have no self control :)

The bar was small and well hidden, but Izuna had always been gifted when it came to finding hidden things. He pushed the door and entered. The inside of the bar was small and cramped, with a lingering smell of alcohol in the air, but somehow it was also absolutely pristine, like the place was owned by a neat-freak. Slithering between the tables and the customers, he made his way to the bar and plopped on a stool.

Immediately, the bartender turned to him and Izuna almost swallowed his own tongue. The bartender was the most beautiful man Izuna ever saw. Tall, lithe, his well tailored clothes were somehow revealing enough to suggest the battlefit body underneath them. His angular face was highlighted by plush red lips, three red lines on his cheeks and chin, and red eyes. Otherwise, the man was entirely white, like all color has been drained from his body. His hair, as white as the rest of him, were forming a halo around his face, making him look slightly like an apparition.

If it had been only that, Izuna would have been able to keep his facade (barely, but he would have done it).

But there was something else in this man, an intensity, a presence, that were enough to reduce Izuna to a brainless idiot (that and the fact that an important part of his blood had rushed south the moment he set his eyes on the bartender).

Which was the exact reason Izuna made a fool of himself the moment the bartender opened his mouth.

\- What is your order ?  
\- Fuck me please !


	2. Where would like life to stop messing with him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara just wanted a drink. Just a simple drink. But here he was now, kidnapped by the fucking Sith who didn't understand that Jedi and Sith were NOT supposed to be friend.
> 
> Dammit.

Izuna sent a look at Madara. The Jedi Knight had his "Will commit a murder in five seconds" face. Probably because the Council of the Elders were being dicks, once again. Izuna still didn't understand how Madara managed to keep his calm in their presences. Izuna would have thrown the bunch of old coots off the balconny if he had been at his brother's - and master - place.

Fortunately, Izuna, being the good Padawan that he was, just knew how to cheer him up.

\- Hey Master, wanna have a drink ?

************

Tobirama rolled his eyes. He had just sensed a presence that made him want to bang his head against a wall. The Padawan that had come a few months ago, had managed to shove both of his feet in his mouth the moment Tobirama talked to him (he had just asked him what he wanted to drink, that shouldn't have been so hard to answer), had offended the bartender and ended kicked out of the bar by a long suffering Tobirama.

He had come back though. Several times, actually. He had apparently managed to get a grip on his tongue between his first and his second visit. That didn't stop him to make a fool of himself by the second sentence (You didn't ask someone who you barely met and whose name you didn't know what was the color of their underwears. Loudly) and Tobirama kicked him out again.

But he came back, again and again, like an annoying fly. And by the fourth time, Tobirama gave up on trying to make him leave. He was not dangerous, he was just stupid and unable to flirt. It was almost cute sometimes. However, tonight the bar was full and Tobirama didn't have the time to deal with a lovesick Padawan.

The bane of his existence entered, but he was not alone. Next to him was a smaller man, with a gigantic mane of jet-black hair, a tired expression and sharp eyes. And his presence made Tobirama shiver. A Jedi Knight. And a really strong one at that. Breathing deeply, Tobirama tried to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. With such a powerful warrior in his bar, he'd better lay low.

The Padawan sat on his preffered stool and the Jedi next to him. Tobirama finished cleaning a glass, very pointedly not looking at them despite the fact he could feel the Padawan practically vibrating. He put the glass on the counter and turned to them.

\- Gentlemen, he said, what do you want to drink ?

The Padawan was about to open his mouth to do his usual spiel when the Jedi cut him.

\- Give me a bottle of your strongest liquor, please.

The man seemed exhausted. Tobirama raised a brow but didn't comment. He went in his reserve and came back with a bottle of cactus alcohol from Jakku and put it in front of the Jedi Knight, who opened it with his teeth and started gulping down the liquid straight from the bottle. Then he put a dry space martini in front of the Padawan.

And he came back to his work, ignoring the flirting from the Padawan but keeping a part of his attention on them. Just in case.

************

Madara finished his bottle and put it back on the counter before putting his chin in his hand, looking at Izuna desperately trying to flirt with the bartender. He could understand his Padawan, the man was absolutely gorgeous. Positively dizzy and feeling a little bit better, Madara sighed. He was gonna let Izuna flirt with the pretty bartender a little more and then he was gonna take him back home for a good bath and a good night of sleep.

The moment he thought that, the door of the bar flew open and a tall caped silhouette entered. Madara froze. He knew this presence. He was so surprised he didn't noticed the bartender freezing and letting the glass he was filling falling and clattering on the counter.

In the bar was standing Hashirama Senju, one of the most dangerous Sith of the galaxy.

The Sith, either absolutely unaware of the effect he just produced or not caring at all, walked to the counter and sat on a stool. Smiling blindly, he turned to the bartender.

\- Hello, I'll take a fruit juice.

The bartender just stood there, shaking. His face twisted in a grimace of pure rage and with a warcry, flung himself over the counter to punch Hashirama Senju, Scourge of the Galaxy, square in the face.

************

Izuna groaned, struggling to open his eyes. He was laying on the cold hard steel floor of a cell and given the ambiant noises he could hear, he was in a spaceship. His lightsaber wasn't here. Dammit. Sitting up, he tried to remember what had happened.

Oh yeah.

The pretty bartender had attacked the Sith Lord, tables had started flying everywhere, the clients had got out screaming, Madara had lighted his saber but had slipped on a bottle and knocked himself out, and Izuna had taken a table to the face and fainted.

Well...

To be honest, it wasn't how he had imagined his first battle against a Sith going.


	3. Where Tobirama punches a Sith in the face (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama is off to murder someone. Izuna and Madara enjoy the show.
> 
> There are feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little angst in that one

Izuna was tinkering with the lock of his cell, using the Force, but until now he was mostly unsuccessful. Hey, it was not his fault, he was not used to do subtle work with the Force, usually he only used it to levitate things and throw it on his ennemies (like this time he was drunk off his ass, levitated HIMSELF before doing the throwing at your ennemies thing. He was pretty sure it was after that one that Madara started to drink). Swearing under his breath, he tried to convince the damn lock to cooperate with him when suddenly there was a click, then a clonck and then the door opened. Izuna was already congratulating himself for his awesomeness - even if he had no idea of how he did it - when he came face to face with the pretty bartender, supporting a mostly hungover Madara, and looking ready to skin someone with his teeth.

Izuna hoped from the bottom of his heart that it was the Sith and not him.

\- Hello ? he tried, unsure, because the man was pretty and also murderous and apparently Force-sensitive too.

Great.

\- Move your ass, the bartender growled - and oh, it did something to Izuna's insides - I have a Sith to trample.

That being said, he threw the nauseous Madara at Izuna and stalked determinately in the corridor. Not knowing what to do, Izuna threw his brother on his shoulders - and oof, Madara should follow a diet. Or cut his hair - like a potato sack and ran after the bartender. He didn't want to be alone in a Sith spaceship.

\- So... what's your name ? he asked, because it seemed like the polite thing to do.  
\- Now's not the time to flirt, the other snarled, focused on his goal, not looking at Izuna.  
\- I'm not flirting ! It's just... we're in the same boat... litteraly... and you kinda freed me and my brother, so...

The bartender huffed before answering.

\- I'm Tobirama.  
\- Cool... that's funny because it sounds like Hashirama, who's the guy who kidnapped us and...  
\- It's normal, he's my brother.  
\- Wait what ?! your brother ?! You're a Sith too ?!!

Izuna was mindblown. Only him could manage to get a crush on a Sith.

\- I am not a Sith, Tobirama sneered, like it offended him personnally, I'm just a normal person trying to live a normal live, but you people keep testing my patience !

Izuna blushed. He knew he shouldn't find that hot, but damn !

\- Anyway, I'm gonna kill my brother now, so if you want to flee, now is a good time.  
\- I'm not letting you alone against a Sith !  
\- I don't need help, Padawan. I can take care of myself.  
\- I don't care, I'm coming with you !

Just as he said these words, they reached the cockpit of the spaceship, and Hashirama Senju was indeed here. He turned to them, smiled widely when he saw Tobirama, and ran to him with extended arms.

\- TOBI!!!

For the second time in the span of a few hours, Izuna witnessed a civilian punching a Sith Lord in tha face.

\- You absolute fucker ! Tobirama roared.

He threw his brother on the ground, straddled him and started punching him. The spaceship vibrated and Izuna gulped. But the Sith Lord was not reputated to be one of the strongest in the galaxy for nothing. He quickly managed to immobilized Tobirama, engulfing his wrists in his gigantic hands and maintaining him in place till the bartender calmed down a little.

\- Little brother, he said, dumbfounded, why are you angry ?  
\- WHY AM I ANGRY ?!!! You ABBANDONNED me !! You left me alone for fifteen years ! And suddenly you come back and you think I'm gonna welcome you with open arms ?!! What the fuck are you on, Hashirama ?!  
\- Brother, I...  
\- You abbandonned me ! you... you... you left me... you left me...  
\- I'm sorry, little brother, I wanted to protect you...  
\- Protect me ! Ah ! yeah, let the nine year old alone on a planet where everybody think he is a wraith ! For his protection ! AH !

He headbutted Hashirama, who didn't move an inch. He embrace Tobirama, despite his squirming.

\- I'm sorry...  
\- I hate you, Tobirama sniffled, nose buried in Hashirama's cape.  
\- And I deserve it...

Izuna was still standing here, carrying his mostly unconscious brother, and having absolutely no idea about what he was supposed to do. "How to deal with a Sith's family issues" was very much not in the Jedi manual. He cleared his throat. Hashirama looked at him.

\- Sorry to disturb you, but what the fuck do me and my brothers have to do with this ?  
\- Oh ! I wanted to take Madara on an adventure ! And since you were here, I figured I'd take you too !

Izuna gaped. It was at this moment Madara woke up.

\- We are not friends you idiot !!! he screamed at no one in particular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going with Creative Sweets headcanon here, that Hashirama dwarfs Tobirama ^^ (because I like it a lot :))


	4. Where Madara would like this fucking Sith to get a fucking grip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara is tired of the overgrown tree man bullshit. They are not friends, no matter what the other says.
> 
> And he's certainly not going on an adventure with him.

After Madara woke up, a lot of things happened at once. First Izuna was unbalanced by his brother sudden move and fell on the floor, the breath knocked out of his lungs. Madara rolled on his shoulders, stood up swaying, turned on his heels and jumped on Hashirama with a warcry. He missed by a wide distance and crashed against the control panel, sending the ship on a looping. Izuna stood up, tried to come to his brother's help, but walked on the hem of his robes when the ship rolled on itself and faceplanted, knocking himself out, again.

Tobirama tried to seize the opportunity to knee his brother in the guts. It connected but Hashirama didn't move an inch because the man was as tall, as strong and unmovable as a fucking tree. He embraced his brother in a one armed hug, effectively pinning the bartender against his broad chest and immobilizing him. Tobirama bristled like a wet cat and tried to kick him to no avail. The Sith Lord followed the jerks of the ship like he was doing this on a daily basis, laughing all the while. To say Tobirama was pissed off was a euphemism. But he didn't dare use the Force, because they were in a spaceship, in SPACE, and that would probably result in an epic fail and death by SPACE !

Hashirama finally gained back the control of the ship, tied Madara and Izuna up in the pilot and copilot chair, and sat on the control panel, Tobirama still secured against his side. Madara was sharing a stricking ressemblance with an enraged porcupine. Tobirama would find it funny if he wasn't so busy trying to get out of his brother hold. He tried to use the Force but Hashirama smothered his attempt like it was nothing.

\- What the fuck do you want, Senju ?! Madara roared, trying to squirm out of his bonds.  
\- Madara, why are you so mad ? I just want to take you back on an adventure !  
\- I'm not gonna go on an adventure with you, you idiot ! I am a Jedi Knight, I have responsabilities, I can't go adventuring and certainly not with a Sith !  
\- But that's what friends do !  
\- FOR THE LAST TIME WE ARE NOT FRIENDS !!!

Madara looked close to apoplexy. Hashirama suddenly emulated his inner puppy, a big cloud of gloom hanging over his head, completed with the teary eyes and the woobling lower lip. Tobirama rolled his eyes. This close, he could totally sense that his brother was absolutely faking it.

\- But I want to go adventuring with you...  
\- Well I don't ! Take me back to Coruscant !  
\- But it will be fun...  
\- I don't care !  
\- What do I have to do with any of this ? Tobirama groaned.  
\- Well, I thought it would be a great way to mend our relationship... a little like brother-bonding, with more space battles...

Tobirama gave him a chilling glare.

\- I know a great way to mend our relationship, he growled, let me punch you in the face again.  
\- Little brother, that hurts...  
\- That's the goal.

Izuna cracked one eye open at this moment. He had been conscious for the last two minutes, but he was too tired and nauseous to open his eyes yet.

\- You know, he said, this is a great idea, this adventuring thing...

Madara turned to him with a look of complete and utter betrayal. Tobirama scoffed. Hashirama beamed.

\- Traitor, Madara groaned.  
\- What ? You always says you want a break from the Elders. Now's a good chance...  
\- I like this one, Hashirama crooned.  
\- He's been flirting with me for three months, Tobirama snarled, because he was feeling really petty right now.

Hashirama turned to Izuna with a wide smile and chilling killing intent.

\- I suddenly don't like this one anymore...

As he was about to perform a baby-brother's-virtue-protecting strike on a shaking and terrified Izuna, the door of the cockpit opened and a female looking droid with a spear entered.

\- Master, she said, boredom audible in her synthetic voice, stop acting like an idiot.  
\- But Toka, he's trying to defile my baby brother !

She sent him a long suffering glare.

\- No killing on your ship, these are your rules.

Hashirama went to brood in a corner of the cockpit. Tobirama, finally free, rubbed his wrists and turned to the droid.

\- Hum, hello ? Toka ?  
\- T0K4, actually. But he's too lazy to say it everytime, so he calls me Toka...  
\- Okay, nice to meet you...  
\- Nice to meet you too. You must be Tobirama. Welcome aboard the Konoha. I am the ship's battle droid.

Before Tobirama could answer, Hashirama jumped on his feet, caught the tied up Izuna like he weighted nothing and gave him to Toka.

\- Toka, could you please show Tobi and the Padawan their cabins ? I need to speak with Madara...

She nodded and threw Izuna on her shoulder, before beckoning Tobirama. A little reluctant, he followed her inside the ship. Then Hashirama turned to Madara.


	5. Where Hashirama finally explains some things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory. Backstory everywhere !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read an awesome theory about the Force (they said it was more like an ocean rather than a two-facetted coin) and my brain did a thing :)

Madara was squirming, trying to get out of his bonds. He was still concussed and he didn't trust himself to use the Force right now, especially in a goddamned SPACESHIP, in goddamned SPACE ! The only time he tried to use the Force while concussed was not to be remembered. Unlike what it seemed, Madara was quite attached to his dignity, thank you very much. He let out a little gasp of victory when he finally managed to loosen the bonds enough to free himself.

A second later, the bonds were tightening unforgivingly around his chest and knocked the breath out of his lungs. He groaned and sent a furious look to the beaming Hashirama.

\- I knew you were into bondage, you overgrown tree, he snarled, let me go this instant, I don't want to play your game !

Hashirama laughed explosively.

\- I wouldn't mind tying you up, Madara, but this is not the subject today. I need you to listen to me and this is the only way to keep you still.

Because he was an asshole and he didn't know when to give up, Madara trashed in his bonds. But they tightened again and he finally stilled, face pinched in pain and anger.

\- Okay, he growled, I'm listening.  
\- Good !

Hashirama inhaled deeply and sat in front of Madara.

\- I need your help, Madara. All of this adventuring bullshit was just an excuse to hide my goal from Tobi.  
\- Your brother ?  
\- Yeah...  
\- What does he have to do with any of this ?  
\- There are people after him, Madara. Dangerous people. If they get their hands on him...

Hashirama's face scrunched in worry.

\- I want to protect him. It's the only thing I ever wanted. That's why I became a Sith.  
\- I don't understand what you're telling me Hashirama. I need you to be clearer.

The Sith Lord sighed.

\- I'm going to try, he said.

Then he made a complicated face. Madara forced himself to smile to encourage him to talk more.

\- Do you remember what they teach you about the Force on Coruscant ?  
\- Yes. The Force is a two facetted coin, with the Light Side and the Dark Side. Desires and emotions are dangerous, for they lure you into the Dark Side.  
\- Well forget that, this is pure and utter bullshit.  
\- Hey !  
\- Siths have been working on a theory for decades now. The Force... is like an ocean. There is no Dark Side or Light Side, there is just diving deeper. But the deeper you dive, the higher the price you have to pay.  
\- I've heard about that... But the Jedi consider this theory to be an heresy...  
\- No kidding... However, everything we know about the Force tends to say that this theory is true.  
\- Okay, let's say it's the case. What do the Sith want with your brother ?

Hashirama looked over his shoulder, like he was scared Tobirama would pop out of nowhere.

\- After mostly confirming this theory, the Sith have startted to hypothesize that the deeper you dive, the more power you have, and unfortunately, for some of us, absolute power is the ultimate goal. So they started diving deeper. But the price was too high, once you reach a certain depth. Some lost their mind, some lost their body, some lost their lives.

Despite himself, Madara was fascinated.

\- They knew there was a point they couldn't exceed, and it was angering them. And they wondered, what if some people exist, some people that can dive as deep as they want and never suffer the consequences ? They started searching. It was a thin hope, but finally they found someone like that.

And suddenly, Madara understood. The implications knocked the breath out of him.

\- Tobirama, he whispered.  
\- Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a cliffhanger spree and I can't be stopped ^^


	6. Where Hashirama explains more things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Backstory !!!

Madara had difficulties to breath. He didn't know if it was because of the bonds or because of the revelations Hashirama just did. If it was true, it would change everything. If it was true, the Jedi Order would be sent on a frenzy to find the albino man first. It would be the start of a galaxy-wide war.

\- Hashirama, why are you telling me that ? I am a Jedi. If any of this is true, the Order will try to kill your brother !  
\- I know. But I trust you Madara.  
\- Why ?! I am loyal to the Order !  
\- But you would never hurt an innocent, do you ? 

Madara gaped. The manipulative little shit !

\- No, he admitted.  
\- Tobi did nothing wrong. You can't kill him for just existing.  
\- I think the Order won't be as understanding of the situation...  
\- Well, the Order doesn't have to know...  
\- I knew manipulation 101 was part of the Sith training...

He closed his eyes and sighed.

\- Okay... So they discovered Tobirama... What after ?  
\- Actually, it's not Tobirama they discovered... They knew that someone blessed by the Force was present on our planet, they just didn't know who it was...

He inhaled sharply.

\- I was twelve at the time, Tobi was nine... and there were those men going around, asking questions... I knew something was wrong, and deep down, I knew it has something to do with my brother... Tobi has always been a little strange... there was his coloring, and sometimes it was like he was seeing thing that weren't really there. He seemed to understand the animals, and a lot of other things like that... The people of our planet hated him because of that...  
\- I am sorry...  
\- Thanks... I love him you know... love him so much... he's my baby brother and I'd do anything for him... So, when the Sith got too near for my comfort, I hid him... told him it was a game, told him to wait for me... If you know how ashamed I am... and then I went to see the Siths. They thought I was the person they were looking for, they took me in, they trained me... I don't want to remember that, really... I underwent horrible things, did horrible things and the only thing that kept me sane was that my brother was safe...

He smiled derisively.

\- But in the end they discovered I was not the one I was pretending to be...  
\- How ?

Hashirama stood up and started to discard his robes and his shirt. Madara very pointedly did not blush. He was a Jedi Knight and bare skin did not affect him. No no no. Absolutely not.

Maybe a little.

At least, his confusion lasted till Hashirama got rid of his shirt and stood there in his half naked glory. Madara's blush was replaced by paleness and his latent arousal by horror. Hashirama's skin was lacerated by scars, everywhere on his torso and his shoulders. And the worst was it seemed they were coming from the inside.

\- What ? How..?  
\- Remember what I told you about the Force ?  
\- It's...  
\- I dived too deep and now I am doomed. I can't go back Madara. No matter what I do, I'm going to sink deeper, until the Force claims my life.  
\- There has to be a way to...  
\- There is none. Listen, I don't know how much time I have left, and I need you to promise me you're going to protect Tobi. I have allies, but we are not many. And since the Siths discovered I lie to them, they are after him. They want to break him, Madara, to make him into a weapon to conquer the Galaxy...  
\- You're asking me to betray the Order and to go to war against the Sith at the same time...  
\- Will you do it ?

Madara looked at Hashirama's face, then at his scars. He closed his eyes, scrunched his nose and exhaled.

\- I'm in bad terms with the Council... and I need an extended vacation... so yes...

Hashirama cheered and engulfed him in a bear hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea when this became angst -.-


	7. Where Tobirama takes a bath and makes a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More backstory, but this time, from Tobirama's point of view

After Toka had led him to his cabin (spacious and luxuous), Tobirama had decided it was time to do a little bit of exploration. Out of spite, he went back to the cockpit, but Hashirama had closed and locked the door and the young man couldn't hear what his brother was saying to the Jedi Knight. Too bad, because he had the intuition it was somehow concerning him.

Angry, he went back to his exploration of the spaceship. He quickly discovered a gigantic bathroom, with a steaming pool, and an enormous window showing space. Overwhelmed by a mighty need, Tobirama entered the room and stripped before diving in the pool with a sigh of contentment. He settled himself on a side of the pool, letting his head fall on the edge and closed his eyes, just enjoying the heat of the water. By the Force, he needed that.

Five minutes later, Izuna entered the bathroom, looking a little sheepish. Tobirama elected to ignore him. He wasn't going to let anything ruin his bath.

\- Mind if we share ? the Padawan asked.

Tobirama let out a rumble that could be interpreted as positive. Izuna quickly stripped and entered the pool, sitting next to Tobirama but not to close. Tobirama did appreciate that. He had unfortunately met people who didn't respect his personnal space in the fifteen years he spent roaming in space. They sat in the hot water in silence for several minutes, just enjoying the heat and watching the starry sky the window bared to their amazed eyes.

Finally, Izuna spoke.

\- This ship is quite something, he said, I had a look around, and there is at least two kitchen, a library, something like a hundred individual cabins and what looks like a goddamned ballroom, but I think your brother made it into a training room.  
\- Not surprising, Tobirama grumbled, t'is a Naboo royal spaceship. Probably stolen...  
\- Whoah ! How do you know that ?!  
\- I've been a steward on a Naboo royal ship when I was fifteen...

Izuna was gaping, looking at him with wide eyes.

\- You're from Naboo ?  
\- No. My birth planet is somewhere on the outskirt of the galaxy, not a lot of people know it. But I wandered a lot...  
\- Oh. But you're what, twenty five ?  
\- Twenty four...  
\- That's not very old. When did you left your birth planet ?  
\- I was ten.

Izuna stayed silent. Tobirama could feel the concern rolling out of him in waves and his heart clenched painfully. Nobody had ever been worried for him. He was always the rat going from spaceship to spaceship, from planet to planet, convenient to use but not worth worrying about. Hell, even his own brother abbandonned him !

\- Why ? Izuna asked.

And Tobirama knew he should probably tell him to fuck off, but at the same time he needed to get this out of his chest, and Izuna, despite his horrendous flirting skills, had always been nice and respectuous.

\- Hashirama left when I was nine. He told me we were playing hide-and-seek, told me to go hide myself, told me he would find me, but he never did. He left me. I was heartbroken and I didn't understand why my big brother left without me. I tried to search him, afraid that maybe something happened to him, the Force told me he wasn't on the planet anymore.

He snorted derisively.

\- Deep down, I knew it would happen, knew I was a burden, too different, too freaky, but... I don't know, I did think HE, of all people would do it... After that, things became progressively worse. People were calling me wraith, throwing me stones, I was starving. So I took the first chance I had to left the planet. I got abroad a spaceship going to Tatooine.

Izuna was listening with batted breath, not making a sound. Tobirama could feel the sorrow twisting the Padawan's heart and he had trouble realizing the man was feeling for him.

\- I went from planet to planet, from spaceship to spaceship, until I landed on Coruscant. I won the bar from its ex-owner and I settled here.

Tobirama sighed, his eyes shiny with tears. He was fighting not to let them fall. Izuna made a complicated face before slapping himself under Tobirama's really surprised stare and held his hand out. Tobirama looked at it wearily, not understanding what he wanted. Izuna cleared his throat.

\- Sorry, he said, I know we had a rocky start, with me being unable to flirt without acting like an idiot, and your brother kidnapping us, but I think I own you a proper introduction. I am Izuna.

Hesitantly, Tobirama took the Padawan's hand and shook it.

\- I'm Tobirama, he said.  
\- Wanna be my friend ?

Tobirama bit his lower lip. He never had a friend before and this... this idiot...

\- Yes, he croacked.

Izuna smiled widely. He was going to open his mouth when Hashirama and Madara barreled into the bathroom, fully clothed.

\- We're going on an adventure ! Madara bellowed.


	8. Where Tobirama would like a better teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara is an horrible teacher.
> 
> Tobirama wants to strangle someone.
> 
> Izuna is enjoying this a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a dawning realization recently, that Tobirama would be perfect for the "Girl in a Box" trope that is quite frequent in scify. So guess who's gonna get shoved in a box sooner or later in this fic ? ^^

Tobirama really really wanted to kill someone right now.

\- For fuck's sake ! Concentrate ! Madara shouted.  
\- That would be easier if you weren't screeching in my ear ! Tobirama replied in the same tone.

Madara made that keetle noise Tobirama was starting to get deeply intimate with. Way too much for his own tastes or sanity.

After Madara had annouced he had accepted Hashirama's proposition (how ? that was a mystery to both Tobirama and Izuna), he had told Tobirama he was going to train him, because adventuring could be dangerous. As if Tobirama didn't know that. But since the Jedi Knight was not to be dettered, Hashirama had made his best puppy eyes impression and Izuna had said they would be comrades, Tobirama had finally relented. After all, there was nothing wrong with learning new things. And if that allowed him to be able to kick Hashirama's ass in the near future, he was ready to undergo Madara's teaching.

The only little problem with that was that Madara was the worst teacher one could dream of. Which meant he was the human equivalent of a Wookie with a toothache.

It had only been a week and Tobirama was already planning to drown the Jedi in the bath.

************

Tobirama sighed deeply and sprawled on the bath's edge. Izuna was sitting by his side, grinning and snickering.

\- How the fuck do you bear him ? Tobirama asked, he is litterally unable to communicate without screaming. I am sure I lost half my earing capacity since he started training me.

Izuna snorted.

\- Well, he's my brother, so I guess there's that... And you know, he quite nice once you manage to crack his shield...  
\- No offence, but at the moment, I'd rather crack his face...  
\- I can get behind the sentiment, really...

They soaked in the water in silence. Izuna was impressed with his new friend. He had participated to the young man's training and if it was clear that Tobirama lacked military training, he knew how to fight and was vicious. He had managed to best Izuna two times out of five, which was kinda impressive for a civilian with no formal training. Furthermore, he had an instinctive understanding of the Force and could do things a non-Jedi Force-sensitive person was not supposed to be able to do. Like always knowing where everybody was on the ship (including Toka), sensing the presence of people who were a system away, or levitating big objects (that time he got fed up with Madara's screeching and threw a workbench in his face to shut him up had been hilarious).

However, things usually got heated because Tobirama and Madara were clashing about the Jedi's ways. Tobirama found them stupid and Madara usually started doing his electrocuted porcupine show the moment his student was saying so. This was always very entertaining but Izuna wished they would scream at each othe less and train more.

************

Tobirama grumbled. He had trouble sleeping (what was new really?) and had wandered away from his room and into the ballroom/training grounds of the ship. He sighed. He was going to try the meditation exercize Madara showed him this morning. Maybe he would succeed better if the older man wasn't screaming in his ear.

He sat crosslegged on the ground, back straight, hands on his knees and closed his eyes. He regulated his breathing till it came naturally and then he opened his mind to the Force.

It was like diving in an ocean. Terrifying, but calming at the same time. No light and no darkness, just gravity. He fell, feeling more aware, more alive than he had ever felt before. The stars were singing, the planets were shining, and it seemed like all the lives in the universe were revolving around him. It was breathtaking.

He was roughly shook off his meditative state and opened his eyes to see a panicked Izuna, a worried Hashirama and a concerned Madara standing in a circle around him. Madara still had his hands on his shoulders. Tobirama blinked, a little angry. Then he saw the absolute mess in the room, which was looking like a hurricane had upturned it.

\- What happened ? he croacked.  
\- You lost control, Madara said, you were too far gone in the Force and you started making everything in the ship levitate. The engines almost stopped.

Tobirama's breath hitched.

\- Oh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang is meeting Gai and Lee in the next chapter !


	9. Where we meet the most enthousiastic Siths ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meet Gai and Lee, Hashirama's apprentices.

\- We've arrived ! Hashirama shouted happily, barreling into the training room like a gigantic puppy, a long suffering Toka on his heels.  
\- We've arrived where ? Madara asked.

It was only seven in the morning, he was not awake enough for this shit.

\- On the planet where I have founded my temple, of course !

Madara distinctly saw Tobirama roll his eyes and Izuna smother a snicker. He felt one of his eyebrows twitch.

\- You founded a temple, he deadpanned.

If it went on like that, he would be dead inside before they even encounter real ennemies.

\- Yes ! It's called the Temple of the Nice Siths !

Izuna rolled on the floor laughing. Tobirama's mouth's corner quirked up even if the young man was doing his best not to show it. Madara felt like he just lost ten years of his lifespan. Why did he agree to follow this idiot, already ?

\- Nice Siths, he groaned, plural... you managed to convince some other Siths to follow you ?  
\- Yes ! All in all, we are four !

Madara felt like crying. Izuna was currently dying of laughter on the floor, Tobirama by his side trying to help him breath. Toka was looking like she was reconsidering all of her life choices, which was kinda freaky coming from a droid. Hashirama was vibrating from happiness and not for the first time since he met the man, Madara wondered how such a ridiculous person had become a Sith.

Oh yeah. To protect his little brother.

Tobirama's eyes whipped in his direction and Madara promptly thought of something else.

\- We'll land in fifteen minutes ! Hashirama cheered as he went back to the cockpit, I am so excited to present them to you !

Madara facepalmed, feeling the migraine coming.

************

Fifteen minutes later, they had indeed landed on the planet, which as far as Tobirama was concerned was empty of sentient presences, except for three, who were gathered in front of the ship. Two of them were vibrating excitedly, the third seemed to be fixated on... cake. Tobirama raised a brow. He supposed they were the three other members of the Temple of the Nice Siths (who allowed his brother to name anything, really ?), but he wondered how people who registered so... sunshiny to his senses, could be Siths ?

The Universe was strange sometimes.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply. After he almost crushed the ship while in a Force induced trance, he had doubled his attention during training, terrified of what might have happened. Not that he cared about Hashirama, or even Madara (this was false, a little voice in his head whispered, even he didn't want to, he cared), he had come to appreciate Izuna and Toka and he would have been devastated to hurt them. So he had forced himself to listen to Madara, had trained himself till he was barely standing, and had stopped delving in the Force alone.

It was okay, he told himself for the upteenth time, he could do it.

The door of the ship opened with a hiss and they walked outside. They were in the middle of what appeared to be a tropical forest, with a shimmering vegetation, golden light filtrating through the folliage. At the end of the clearing in which the ship had landed was a gigantic building, carved inside a cliff. Tobirama felt his breath robbed from him. This was absolutely beautiful. Next to him, Izuna was looking awestruck.

\- This is way more beautiful than the Jedi Temple, he heard him breath.

They took a few steps into the clearing. Even Madara was looking impressed. And then, two people wearing black cloacks ran to them, arms extended, screeching. Hashirama answered in the same fashion, tackling one of the figures and twirling on himself while the other figure, jumped on his back and started crying. Tobirama looked at Izuna with dread in his eyes, found a similar expression on his friend's face and briefly wondered id he could go back to his room without being spotted. He could bar cheerful people, but these two were just... too cheerful.

Hashirama put the two figures on the ground and Tobirama could see that they were two men, human, one in his late twenties and one barely out of his teen years. Except for that, they could have been the same person. Both of them tall (albeit not as much as Hashirama), with powerful frames and muscles, cheerful faces, big round eyes, black hair kept in bolwcuts (a shiver raked through Tobirama) and the thickest eyebrows this side of the galaxy. They were smiling broadly.

Unsure of what to do, Tobirama summoned a tentative smile and waved. They seemed delighted. Madara looked like a needed a drink. A strong one.

\- My friends, Hashirama said, let me present you my Apprentice Gai - he pointed at the oldest of the pair - and his Apprentice Lee - he pointed at the younger man - Gai, Lee, this is my dear brother Tobirama, as well as my friend Madara and his brother Izuna !  
\- We are so happy to meet you ! Gai said, jumping in front of Tobirama, kneeling and taking one of his hands in his, Master Hashirama always speak of you !  
\- Yeah ! Lee added, having also knelt and taken Tobirama's other hand in his, we are delighted to meet someone with such youthful passion !  
\- Uh... Thanks ? Tobirama tried, not understanding what they meant but not wanting to hurt their feelings.

They were like big enthousiastic puppies, he would feel bad if he did. They jumped on their feet and started dragging him toward the temple, blabbering about the Force and Youth and an array of other things that Tobirama only half listened to because he was busy pleading for help with his eyes.

Hashirama seemed delighted with his predicament, Madara looked like he was one hair short from going back into the ship to empty the wine cellar, and Izuna was convulsing of laughter on the ground.

Traitors.

************

Madara dragged a hand down his face.

\- Maybe we should follow them... By the way, you spoke of four Nice Siths. Where is the fourth ?  
\- Oh, Randy's inside the Temple...  
\- Randy ?  
\- Yeah. If he proposes you a cookie, says no.

Now Madara really wanted a drink.

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think of the start ?


End file.
